The best way to fall, is in love with me ;)

But why

You don't know what it's like when nothing feels alright. You don't know what it's like to be like me. To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be on the edge of breaking down. Haiz.

I realise that I have such wonderful friends to be there for me when I needed someone to talk to. They're just the best. Together, nobody can ever take their place. But it's all because of ONE reason, and that is, they're on the same damn pirate ship as me. =)

Today, I found out something. I was shocked to hear it. I've been trying to explain but I just couldnt accumulate the courage. I'm keeping to my promise I made last year. I just don't know what to do now. Sometimes, I go into a dilemma. At one point, I think that this is better than that. And at some other times, I feel that that is better than this. haiz. I hate being in a DILEMMA!

Now, I think that "But Why" is a very suitable song for what I'm going through right now. Written by myself in January, I thought that this was just a crap. But it isn't now. It's very meaningful. I just love it.

- But Why -

Everyday I think of you
Every moment you're in my mind
You're as if a dream come true
If only you were mine

When you're not around
I kept craving for you
I'll wait till you come
I need you right here now

[Chorus]
But why did you try to stay away from me
But why do you always seem to ignore me
After all I've been through
I knew things will just not be the same
Oh why did you do this to me

Everytime I look at you
You remind me of someone new
There were times, you haunt my dreams
It seems like those things were real

When you're not around
I kept craving for you
I'll wait till you come
I need you right here now

[Chorus]
But why did you try to stay away from me
But why do you always seem to ignore me
After all I've been through
I knew things will just not be the same
Oh why did you do this

[Bridge]
I know that there's just nothing wrong
It's between you and me to make the choice
It seems like you do not care anymore
But I still do, cause ure my only one

[Chorus]
But why did you try to stay away from me
But why do you always seem to ignore me
After all I've been through
I knew things will just not be the same
Oh why did you do this me
Why did you do this to me ....
But why did you do this to me ...

Well, it's just another day, all I see is just the rain.

I've learnt something new. =)

I'll make it vivid and palpable soon.

Stories

Well, its not that I dont have stories to tell you. In fact I have lots of stories to tell. But telling you will be weird because its all about you.

And that is just one of my stories which I haven elaborate. Elaborating takes time to complete. I think it wont end until I get to know something. Something that I might NEVER know in my whole entire life or perhaps, something that can change everything. The situation, the sky, the sea, the stars, the moon .. everything. It's just so amazing how my life's been so far.

I feel lethargic now. What a long day in school. From morning till sch ends to ERP's and night study for DNT. It was a great day though. I was so WEAK in the morning. I couldn't even stand properly and I just have no idea why.

I have plenty of science hwks to be done now and it's both Chem and Physics. I'm just bored seeing those pieces of papers. But I have to tell myself that I have O levels in 8 weeks!

Seriously after a long day, I feel hungry. hahas. And I feel like eating a lot now so yeah. Till then. =P

I was right.

Horoscope of the day.

Horoscope of the day - Aquarius.

When you think about where one of your relationships is going today, you need to look away from logic and tune in to your deep feelings about who this person is and what they bring to your life. Ask yourself whether you are keeping them in your life because they bring out the best in you -- or because you're used to having them around. Once you face that question and answer it honestly, you won't have to worry about having doubts about friendships ever again.

A meaningful horoscope on a very bad weekend indeed.

_________________________________________________________________

I've been having a sore throat since Friday. It just sucks. I hate not feeling well. It's just so different. I cant even concentrate on anything. Even if I try studying, nothing will get into my head. It's just a very bad weekend.

Even though I tried to let go, something inside tells me not to.

Sorry. Blame it on me

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility. And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me. So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that I've done things that haven't occurred yet and things that they don't want to take responsibility for.

I understand that there's some problems
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me.

Well, my friends are right. I'm just a useless freak.

Why the hell am I just so stubborn. I've been ps-ing my friends all along. I chose to go with someone else. But why?

Why am I like this? Why can't I just give up on it? Why must I always choose to follow you instead of my friends. I know you're into some other guy but u just dun wanna admit it. I've had enough. I dun wanna hurt myself anymore. You don't understand when I said "I don't wanna know". Well I'm telling this now. I don't wanna know what's going on between u and him. I don't wanna know what he calls u or whatever u call him. I don't wanna know what u think of him and what he thinks of u. But sometimes, I feel that it's better to know. As a friend, I'm seriously worried.

I'm tired of those things you tell me about him. Seems like ure just taking advantage of me? All those stories you've been telling me, I wonder whether they're the truth or you're just lying to me. Today, I asked you what you wrote on that book and u said u don't know. Well, I know what you wrote there. I just asked trying to see how u react. It tells EVERYTHING.

Perhaps someone knows about this but I don't? I just dun wanna know what will happen next. Don't even mutter a single word.

Perhaps, I lose friends because of you, and I'm gonna lose more if I do what I'm doing now. Well if you don't appreciate it, its alright. I see that you're trying ur best to but ur expressions and reactions on ur face tells many things. It would be better if u can tell me straight to the point but it seems like ure trying hard to twist things around and make my brains think more.

In soccer, a good player like steven gerrard is very hard to be replaced by any other players when he's injured. The same goes for my frens out there, those good frens are very hard to be replaced when they're lost. I just wanna say ....... I've had it enough.

BAD DAY!!

Well. Today is just a very bad day. Why the hell does everyone wants to find trouble with me?

I'm pissed off since yesterday. Everything planned didnt happened. I hate it. I don't want to elaborate on it. At least you could've tell me earlier. But you chose to do it at the very last min. I was very pissed of at that time. I just said NEVERMIND. My NEVERMIND means something. Not onli for yesterday. It has been many times that I've said NEVERMIND. Although u ppl think I'm alright, you ppl are just wrong. My NEVERMIND always means something.

XP, I know that the movie is not impt but I was watching it and I had to finish watching it. Scold me all u want. I know I'm such a useless person in ur life. I couldnt even go out with u. Well, I had to meet someone else and I'm holding to my word. But on the other hand, that person didnt. I got furious.

I would like to say sorry to you. Ya whatever it is, I know you wont care. I dont care anymore. It's all up to u. You called me and gave a long lecture which I just dont care about. I hate it. If you want to tell me something, get straight to the point. I hate long conversations. I get pissed off although I always nvr show it.

I'm also sorry that I had to put down the phone. My mom was starring at me. She just want me to put down the phone cause I was using my HANDPHONE. Well mom, I just wanna say that, YOU JUST ADD MORE PROBLEMS. I thought you would be more understanding. I was in the midst of an arguement sorting out my mistakes and YOU onli wanted me to put down the phone. YOU JUST PISS ME OFF MORE. And now what does my friend think of me? HE THINKS THAT I'M JUST SOMEONE WHO DOESNT CARE ABOUT HIM AND ONLI WANT TO HANG UP ON HIM. You ruined my day! I'm gonna tell this straight to ur face either later today or tmr.

Everything just seems wrong. It's all misunderstanding. I just hate you ppl. HATE YOU! I seriously mean it.

AND THEN IT WAS DJAH'S TURN. I was already in a state where I couldnt control my anger. YOU msged me in a nice way I KNOW! I replied like usual. I DIDNT EVEN REPLIED IN A HARSH MANNER. and what did u typed? You typed thinking that I typed a msg like an UNHAPPY GUY? whats wrong with u? You blamed me without even knowing the real thing? YOU seriously made my day worser. AND I'M SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.

YESTERDAY AND TODAY ISNT THE TYPE OF BREAK I NEEDED. You ppl nvr give me peace for once. I'd rather live in a world with no friends! I'm sick of everything that happens around me. AND DJAH, dun come to me and say the same things over and over again. It makes me sick. I know that ure gonna say, there will always be problems in our lives and we have to face it. YES I KNOW. just stop it. Perhaps I dont hate problems. I hate the ppl who gave me the problems instead I guess. It's just so hard to solve problems with u and xp all the time. I think it's both of u that makes me sick and tired.

Well, I know I'm gonna get into conflicts with many others these few days. I would like to say sorry in advance. Dont bother coming up to me to talk about anything that can create problems between me and YOU ppl. ok?