=(
It's gonna be a sad post.
I don't know why, but for the past one week, I've been feeling down. Not because of anything, but because of friends.
I wonder why something always happens along the way, which might bring you to the end of the closeness and all that you've shared with someone.
I wonder why these things happen. Is it my fault? Well, I'm not leaving myself out frm the list. Nobody's perfect. It might be my fault, but to what extent have I done something wrong? I would like to know. Definitely. Is it their fault? Well, everytime a thing happens, we must get to know both sides of the story before making a conclusion about it. Never jump into conclusions straight away and don't assume. Sometimes, the power of a human brain just don't realise all these things when its in that situation.
Sometimes I see that my friends do care about me, but at that time when they do, I dont really care. When I care about them, I kinda see that they don't even care about me. Well, maybe that's life. When someone cares, u dont. When u do, someone else doesnt.
I tried to talk to my friends about this. Well, the ones who are not that close to me of course. The opinions they gave, its almost similar. But maybe I am the one who refuses to take the action.
Zhongwei told me, if you are walking with ur friend along the street, he/she moves on and u stop there, do u see that both of us are a distant apart? The onli way to continue staying together is keeping up the pace with him/her. But what if he/she stops halfway and u continue moving on? And they cant keep up the pace with you? Then its time for both of us to go separate ways. This means our lives are different. Its no longer the same. Maybe its time to walk our own way, and maybe, we'll meet someone else.
I called Za last night, and she kinda gave me the same opinion too.
I've been through lots of things with friends especially. The ups and downs of my life have been all with them. But sometimes, things got to come to an end. And thats what I seee in my perspective.
Friends I made, mostly are just the hi-bye ppl now. Good friends I had, are rarely there for me and I'm rarely there for them. Close friends I had before, are now kinda strangers to me.
It saddens me, hurts me, kills me. What can I do? Or what have I done? Why are the closest friend always the easiest to lose? Im still wondering.
I definitely dont want it to end this way this time. But the question is, what can I do to keep it? What can I really do to keep it forever?
Let me still wonder, hoping there would be an answer to what could be the very last piece of a puzzle which is currently missing.
Stay close, don't go ..
