The best way to fall, is in love with me ;)

27th January 2009

Happy Birthday to me! =)

I had to study today. I have a math test tmr.

Things have been going bad lately. I've got into more problems after I met up with the band again. One after another, it just starts to come. Why? Staying away from them was a good thing. It didnt make me think so much. Asmah was my only hope, but she didnt show that she even cared somehow.

Well, there's nothing wrong in saying what I feel. I've said, when it comes to friendship, it matters a lot. I don't know how to say this, but Asmah, I treat u as someone whom I can talk to. Someone who is cheerful, happy go gila, always going nuts in the middle of the night, perhaps like my own sister and many many. Well, she's always there to entertain me when I'm bored. Thats for sure. But I always find that she doesnt care about most of the things I've told her. I feel it that way, so I have to say it. Just think about it. Those times u said 'whatever', and those times u said 'do I even seem to care right now?' and the times when u said 'errrr ok'. And the times when I told u something I wanted you to say at least a sentence about that particular thing and then u changed topic. Haiz.

Maybe you didnt realise, maybe you did. You dont even wanna say anything about whatever I've said just now. I don't wanna scold you anymore. I got fed up sometimes because of this, and maybe that's the reason why I've said those things just now.

You didnt even wanna say anything, making me feel that you dont even care about me at all. You're making me feel that you're there because you have to be there and not want to be there.

I'm just disappointed you didnt stand up for your right, making me feel that I'm just a freaking stranger to you. It just hurts feeling this way. The more I try not to put myself in this position, the more I end up in this kind of situation everytime I'm trying to point out something. I just want to get everything right and saying what I dont really want from you. I've told u the other time to say ANYTHING that you're unhappy about me, but u said there's nth to be said.

Asmah, just put urself in someone else's shoe. Think about someone, someone you really2 care for. Someone you love, as a friend, or as anything else. Someone you know who's always there for you. And if everytime, he/she doesnt really care after you urself put in so much effort caring for that someone, what will you feel?

Please think about it.

The calamity of life

When one's trueself starts to show, I've got nth to say.

Seems like my life is falling apart after all. One after another, why?

Thanks for everything that's made me happy, thanks for everything that made my life meaningful, thanks for whatever we've done together all these while. Thanks for the memories.

But no thanks for hurting me at the end of everything. It always happens, and I've always tried my best not to let it happen.

And with the things that's going on now, I think it's gonna happen again. When, what day, what time, I dont know. What I know, I'm always trying, doing my best to save my life from falling apart, but its always oneself that makes the decision to make me fail in whatever I'm doing right now.

It could be you, and you'll never know it, because this is a secret, I keep within me.

On the way down, I saw you, and you saved me from myself ..

Bridge building with Satay sticks

At the start of the day, I felt so tired. I only managed to get 1 hr of sleep. I slept at around 5 plus last night and woke up about an hour later. Gosh. My eyes were red. I found that I was kinda weak too. Haha. My legs were wobly. I felt drowsy too and just wanted to vomit.

I was 15 mins later for EG2. hahaha. Even though I was, there were still many others later than me. And the lecturer didnt ask me anything.

TODAY WAS BRIDGE BUILDING DAY! I felt sooooo high after making the bridge!

The criteria was;
1. The weight must not exceed 50g
2. The bridge must not break when it holds a 2.5kg weight at the centre or else only 20% will be given for the entire test
3. 45mins was given and 1g will be added to every single min if we exceed 45mins.

So Mr CheeShaoHong and I started to think of a way to make the base as strong as possible. We kept gluing and gluing the satay sticks together. It was fun. We even burn ourselves by touching the hot glue. Well, sacrifices had to be made. We were totally different today. We weren't arguing that much like we did last week.

45mins was up and we haven completed our bridge, neither did any other teams. So we continued. The first team to went up and test their bridge was Mike & Hanwen. Their bridge wasnt as strong as last week. I thought they would build a better bridge than us.

After a few mins we went up to test ours. And guess what. Our bridge didnt sink! Not even 0.01cm! Wooooo hoooooo! Mission accomplished! I was freaking happy. Then we went to measure the weight. It exceeded of course, 67.4g. hahaha. And we had to pay a penalty by being 33mins late. And our total score was 87%! I was like shouting in class 'THE BEST BRIDGE OF THE DAY LAH SEH!' and after that, shaohong had a slip of the tongue, he said 'The best BITCH of the day!'. hahahaha!

But Weiyu's group managed to beat us by 1%. Nvm. At least we're second! haha. Congratulations to ShaoHong and me. =)

Farhan and Alvin had some difficulty too, but they managed to overcome it in the end. Congrats to everyone for passing this test! It was fun although most of us hurt ourselves.

Another week gone

- 15 January 2009
First ever performance of the year. =) And officially ME Virtuoso winners! I was quite nervous though when they were announcing the results. But during the competition I somehow find that, its not quite competitive. Well, I want tougher challenges. But now, at least I knw where I stand. =).

- 17 January 2009
Happy Birthday to my mum! Love her lots. Had a family dinner together at Desa Kartika at Takashimaya. =)

I'm officially bored at 3 37am. Currently chatting with asmah but I will leave her soon to go to sleep. I have to wake up at 6am! I wonder how I'm gonna make it waking up. Bridge building test is coming in a few hours! Gosh. Computer programming project is yet to be done and the deadline is this coming Sunday! I think I got that covered. No worries about that.

Whatever Miss Goh said the other day, about sitting down and really think about what I wanna do in future. I've really gave it a thought these few days. And I really want to be what I thought about. And suddenly talking about studying with asmah came up in my mind because I have 5 weeks of school left and my first year is gonna end. If I ever want to chase that dream, I think there's nothing wrong being a nerd right now. =)

Well, that has given me the motivation I needed. From tomorrow onwards, no nonsense! =)

Take care and good night everyone! haha. Well, its actually, good morning. hees. =P

If you decide to come and stay no need to lock cause I'm unlocked, I want to let you get to me. =)

whatever

My life has been so wrong lately.

My friendship with her got ruined somehow just by someone. And I was facing a hard time trying to get things back to normal. The way you've been treating me, is way soo diff. And its sudd so diff again the other day. Something must have happened behind my back. But I just dont knw what it is.

He once said 'if there's any problem, you can come and find me for help'
He also said 'we must not keep any secrets among each other, tell it to us, we can help you'

Where have those words gone to? INTO THE DRAIN? I so can't be bothered. I don't understand why she suddenly becomes the centre of attraction. Having her around just destroys my fun. And I dont know why. Those 2 guys have really been close to her lately. I have no idea why too.

I have lots of tests coming up, and I ALREADY TOLD THEM that I dont want myself to get affected by all these things. But by the way things are, I just cant run away from it! 4 weeks left, its very crucial. It means something to me. I wanna complete my 1st year in peace!

She just send me a freaking sarcastic msg yesterday, when I am TOTALLY INNOCENT!

And He had a freaking urgent thing to tell me and told me to call him. Well, if he really had something urgent, he could've sent a msg anw.

And that urgent thing, I knew it was about my finals. He's booking out at 5pm and can't make it of course. But I rather not have him there with all these things going on in my mind. Argh. Can't make it, just say it! Don't have to make me call you.

Finals tomorrow, a huge test on friday, a stressful bridge building on monday, a freaking maths test on wed, and a bloody CATS project to be done.

Oh and surprisingly Ja just msged me and said she can't make it. She and her excuses.

Why must someone always come and spoil my mood when I'm trying hard to study for my C programming test?!

Whatever everyone!